So i have been dating this other man…we are up to date 4!
We have shared coffee, had a few glasses of wine in a wine bar, talked about our respective families, our hopes, our goals, we have been to a lovely restaraunt and eaten nice food, we have walked along the river front, and are going to lunch next week followed by celebrating New Year on a boat to see the fireworks..
He thinks im successful, independant, gorgeous…and chuckled at my ute!
But, he is nice, funny, has a nice accent…BUT he does not know yet that i have my little bundle of joy, and have had for 8 years now (thats my little boy!)
Now its crunch time, to see what type of guy he is! Everyone thinks that guys dont care these days, and if he is 33, well he should be just happy he is dating someone almost 5 years younger!
So do i tell him during lunch, after lunch, before lunch or..after date 6?
2 Comments
I personally would approach the subject of a child during lunch.
You’re not yet exclusive, just friends having fun and getting to know one another, so if it’s a planned lunch date, you might as well wait until your food has arrived, eat a few bites – you’ll probably be starving by then, and choose your moment carefully.
You will already know what you are going to say and how you are going to open THAT conversation. Be casual, upbeat, and as you take another bite to eat you could open up with “By the way, there’s been something I’ve been meaning to mention, but I keep getting sidetracked when I’m with you…” or words to that effect.
Once you have uttered these words you might notice his jaw drop suddenly into his lap or his eyes start spinning wildly. On the other hand he may have only a nanosecond of reaction time, and recover quickly, a pleasant surprise some might say.
Try not to laugh out loud if he begins to choke on his Big Mac.
Whatever, use your sense of humour to lighten any uncomfortable moments. Smile as if you’ve just been talking about what to order on the menu… Allow the conversation to flow around your child, the hopes and dreams you have for them, and of course what a great kid you have!
This will in all probability change things between you – for how can it not? By how much? Who knows. There’s a child in the mix now which will need to be considered, and included if this relationship is to be successful and continue.
Remember to keep it light and flowing.
These are only my opinions and you will be the best judge of how to approach this at the time. However, I’d seriously start rehearsing a few possible scenarios to make it easier on you.
Good luck and can’t wait to hear the outcome!
I will probably just say something in conversation so fast that more than likely no one will notice.
Funny..because i know this one listens and takes it all in…no getting round it. Maybe i can just not even go on another date..No, i will do it just to make another good story.
Watch this space because i will let you know each detail on what is said, what jaw dropping moments happen and how we part – as uncomfortable as it most likely will be!
Having said that, its far too hard to be who i am without even mentioning that i have a lovely young man that guides me as much as i guide him through life – and especially Christmas – it is the most precious time to be spent with the ones we devote our lives to xxx